Are you a modern man? Have you ever...
... had your significant other asked you to bring something down from a room, but as you enter it, you pick up a wayward sock, find a quarter on the floor, then noticed your Sodoku book. With super-human effort, you manage to avoid the Sodoku book, grab your wife's hat, then head downstairs with a proud smile on your face at overcoming that Sododu obstacle and a job well done.
"Did you get what I asked?" your significant other asks testily as you enter the room.
You stand, panic in your eyes, but decide you are sooooo prepared for this one. "Yes, oh beautiful one, I have the hat you requested. I have traveled long and through dangerous places to garner this truly wonderful and unique head apparal..."
No laughing. Then you have a long moment of dead air, as they say in radio. You suddenly realize that your ears may actually be sweating.
"You realized I asked for that yesterday?" she smiles, yet doesn't look happy.
"No." Sweat now dripping off your nose.
"Do you remember what I asked for?"
"My undying love?" you smile and try a waiter laugh as you wrack your brain for some clue as to what you were supposed to get. You end up slinking to the basement to watch football, and for some reason, know the name of every single player, play, penalty, and general history of both teams.
Have you ever...
...rushed headfirst into a room to grab something, then stood for over 3 minutes with your lips pursed, eyes stairing intently at the ceiling, trying to remember what the @#$@ you were there for? Well, as long as your there, you might as well listen to a tune or two on the 'ol IPOD while you finish that Sodoku.
You can't fight your brain.
As my great, great, great grandfather used to say, "You never forget anything, you just remember it too late."
That would be funny, but I can't remember his name.
Modern men have a lot on their plates. I'm not talking about eating and the obesity that is running amok in America. I'm talking about our poor minds trying to keep up with the modern world and the millions of things we need to remember to get through a day. This is having a detrimental effect on our memories. At least I think it is, I honestly can't even remember what the topic was.
Oh, yea. The power of remembering. To get to the bottom of this forgetting thing, I think it is important to study the etomology of the word "remembering." Broken into it's component language roots, remembering shouldn't be that hard.
RE means again, such as in refried beans will haunt you again and again.
Ing is some sort of bank whose commercials I never quite understand.
Member is a vague inappropriate euphamism that shouldn't be talked about in a blog such as this, but is often used in horror movies in such great lines as, "I can't believe that beast killed him by attaching that tentacle to his member."
Now, if you put all three parts together, it really makes no sense at all. I aplogize. I wonder where I was going with that, but I really can't remember.
But there is something in men's brains. They say that men think of sex every few seconds. However, I don't believe it. How the heck could we even remember to do that?
Men can remember stats like you wouldn't believe, they can remember to get their fantasy football team ready every week, and a joke they heard when they were 12 that still kills them at parties. Women of course use their brain power to remember every stupid thing we men have done our entire lives and save them up for arguments.
Woman: "Honey, do you remember when we were first dating and had that big fight after "When Harry Met Sally?" You're acting like that now."
Man: "That was funny, the scene in the restaurant. But I can't believe that one guy gave up his wagon wheel table. Good movie, though. Princess Leah was in it."
Woman: "You don't remember that big fight! How could you not? You're just pretending so I will stop yelling!!!"
Man: (Rambling on, despite the yelling.) "Did you know that Tom Hanks was once in a really bad movie about a guy addicted to Dungeons and Dragons? It could be possibly the worst movie ever. Even worse than Cabin Boy. I remember staying up to watch it since I played a little D and D myself. (now smiling reminiscently)"
Woman: (sobbing) "How can you not remember? HOW?"
Man: Looking generally confused and wondering if the couch is already made up for him this evening, then ticks off 10 Tom Hanks' films in his head, just for good measure.
No, ladies, we are not making this stuff up.
At least, I don't think we are. Quite honestly, I can't remember.
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Have any stories you remember about forgetting? Send me an email and maybe I'll post-em.
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